The best science jokes to make you laugh, groan, and Google
Crafting a perfect joke takes skill, timing, nuance, and a sophisticated understanding of your audience. The following list of science-based knee slappers has almost one of those. We gathered up some of the most groan-inducing scientific jokes we’ve heard from peers, remember from childhood, or made up while we were supposed to be partaking in serious journalism. So, when the family gathering turns to a tense topic this holiday season, tell one of these room-clearing jokes to lighten the mood.
Have a favorite science joke that’s not on the list? Tweet it with the hashtag #PopSciJokes for a chance to get it on the list.
What did one beam of light say to the other just before they slammed into each other? “Dude, you can totally crash on my photon.”
An amoeba sits down to eat at a restaurant. Across the room, another Amoeba is undergoing mitosis. The first amoeba flags down the waiter and says, “I’ll have what she’s halving.”
Want to hear a joke about potassium? K.
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says, “I’ll have some water too. But why’d you order it like that? We aren’t at work.”
The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk says "Can I get a bellhop for your bags?" Photon responds "No need. I'm traveling light."
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
All mushrooms are edible. Some are only edible once.
Why can’t you argue with Pi?
It’s irrational.
There are 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
I was reading a book on helium.
I couldn’t put it down.
There are only bad science jokes left. All the good ones argon.
What did the stamen say to the pistil?
I like your style!
What did the microbiology student get for being late to class?
A tardigrade.
How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
Does anyone have any jokes about Sodium?
Na.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Why do chemists love dubstep music?
They love to drop the base.
A butterfly gets pulled over by the cops for speeding. He hands the cop his driver’s license with a photo of a caterpillar on it. “Sorry, it’s an old picture.”
What do you call it when a geologist has to work on a Friday night?
Gin and tectonics
Written by PopSci Staff for Popular Science and legally licensed through the Matcha publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to legal@getmatcha.com.
Lakethia
Herpes has been one of the most significant virus in the US now, and its spreading really fast, and the government are only producing medical drugs that can suppress it but rather keep on eliminating the African herbal doctors who were able to discover a way to completely cure the virus…I’m delighted to be finally cured of herpes 2 after i applied doctor Oyagu herbal medicine for two weeks ,,, I can tell you, I went back a month later to confirm my status and i was still negative.. If i could get cured, why do you think You can’t?, you believe in the lying government and medical scientists and keep spending money on buying their stupid pills.. I’m glad I am finally cured from it forever…apply oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com herbal formula. Visit Herbalist Oyagu Natural Herbal Medicine Website : https://oyaguspellcaster.wixsite.com/oyaguherbalhome or contact him via WhatsApp +2348101755322 good luck as you reach him
Andy Lawson
I’m sharing my experience to help anyone who may find themselves in the same difficult situation I was in just a few months ago. I work in the banking sector and, like many others, I was drawn to the world of cryptocurrency with the hope of building a stronger financial future. I took time to do what I believed was proper research. The platform I invested in looked very professional, the team seemed responsive, and everything about it felt legitimate. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
What I did not realize at the time was that I had walked straight into a phishing scam. In a matter of seconds, all of my Bitcoin and USDT holdings were gone. I was in complete shock. Years of savings vanished almost instantly, and I felt absolutely helpless.
The turning point came one weekend when I was playing tennis with some friends. I shared my experience casually, just trying to vent. One of the members of our club told me about Morphohack Cyber Service. He mentioned that his company had worked with them in the past to recover sensitive business data and that their team was trustworthy.
I contacted Morphohack immediately, and from the first conversation, I felt a sense of hope. They took the time to understand my situation, asked for details, and began investigating right away. Within days, they traced the stolen funds and eventually recovered my crypto assets.
I cannot overstate how thankful I am to Morphohack. They were professional, respectful, and most importantly, effective. They turned a nightmare into a story of relief and recovery.
If you have been scammed or lost your crypto, do not give up. There is real help out there. Morphohack gave me back more than just money, they gave me peace of mind. Their contact information: ( Morphohack@cyberservices . com )
Wendy Gunn
LORD MEDUZA IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE
It’s an honor to share my testimony with the world. You merit all the accolades that mention you. Lord Meduza has been a gift to me since our meeting online. He is the only one that knows everything about creating spells. I adore him immensely for his kindness, compassion, integrity, and the support he offers to everyone who interacts with him. Without Lord Meduza, I wouldn’t have survived this difficult situation. His magic turned me into a Lottery winner of £177 Million Pounds, transforming my entire life into something beautiful and extraordinary. The numbers he provided for the lottery were transformative, elevating me from grass to grace, and I want to express my eternal gratitude to him. Thank you, sir, for being a source of help to those in need. Anyone who reads this article and requires assistance can reach him through his Email: lordmeduzatemple@hotmail.com or WhatsApp +18079072687 as he is unmatched in crafting spells.
Lakethia
Herpes has been one of the most significant virus in the US now, and its spreading really fast, and the government are only producing medical drugs that can suppress it but rather keep on eliminating the African herbal doctors who were able to discover a way to completely cure the virus…I’m delighted to be finally cured of herpes 2 after i applied doctor Oyagu herbal medicine for two weeks ,,, I can tell you, I went back a month later to confirm my status and i was still negative.. If i could get cured, why do you think You can’t?, you believe in the lying government and medical scientists and keep spending money on buying their stupid pills.. I’m glad I am finally cured from it forever…apply oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com herbal formula. Visit Herbalist Oyagu Natural Herbal Medicine Website : https://oyaguspellcaster.wixsite.com/oyaguherbalhome or contact him via WhatsApp +2348101755322 good luck as you reach him
Kitty Shannon
Am using this opportunity to thank Dr. Guba is a grateful thing to me, for over years I have been sick with Hepatitis B disease, I have done a lot of things to get cured of my diseases and nothing has worked out. I have taken different types of medication for it , but it still doesn’t work for me. I still keep going for a check up so that the doctor will tell me my disease has be gone, because i’m taking my medicine with no result nothing has been cured, I have spent a lot of money just to get cure of Hepatitis B. until my old time friend came to my place and saw what am going through, and then direct me to contact Dr. Guba who is a very powerful man, which I did explain my problem to Dr. Guba and send me a herbal remedy bottle and explain to me how I should drink it. So I started to drink the herbal tea in one week that I drink the herbal tea. I went for a check up to check if I’m cured from Hepatitis B disease, then the nurse told me nothing is wrong with me anymore and said I’m fine. I am the happiest person right now. I promise Dr. Guba I will testify about his good work on the internet. Reach out to Him Via: drgubahealingherbs@gmail.com Thank you so much sir for what you did for me you’re the best of all. WhatsApp +2348162388034 ORwebsite: https://drgubahealing herbs.wixsite.com/guba-healing-herbs